RISE OR FALL

You’re a fool.

You’re on the receiving end of frequent lectures regarding your lack of sensitivity to their afflictions. These are intended to make you feel like a self-absorbed shell of a human being. Your problem, as they see it, is that you’re too caught up in the rigors of everyday life to tend to their needs. They pretend not to notice that you’re already doing this to the best of your ability. They don’t acknowledge it because they resent you for it. You’re a constant reminder that they owe you. Your attempts to lighten their load are weighing heavily on their guilt. 

They thrive on their own afflictions. They’ve bought into the lie that they need to commit wholeheartedly to themselves and their own happiness before tending to the needs of others. Because of this, they’re constructing great monuments of self-interest. They medicate. They sleep. They move away. They do whatever is necessary to create their ideal surroundings.

They’re ruining everything.

You’re frustrated that they can’t see what is so plainly visible to you - that their actions have consequences - but to mention this would only agitate them, and you’re now living your entire life for the sole purpose of keeping their agitations to a minimum. You’re the reason everything is going to be alright in the long run, or so you tell yourself. You might be lying.

You’ve lost yourself in this pursuit. Your panic attacks are directly triggered by their panic attacks. Your sense of stability has been hijacked by their inconveniences. 

You’re going to have to do something about this.